You Are Not A Bother

It’s amazing how God teaches us in ways we don’t expect. What could have been a defeating experience in my life became a powerful lesson—and brought freedom from a belief I didn’t even realize I was carrying: that I am a bother.

Let me share a little back story… 

I was part of a project with two other people. As decisions were made, I slowly became less vocal. I didn’t want to create conflict, so I chose to be silent about a few things. I told myself that my opinion wasn’t important and it wasn’t that big of a deal.

Over a couple weeks, things escalated. Eventually, a damaging conversation happened between two team members, and it threatened the project continuing. I reached out to supervisors and asked for a meeting. It took ten days to get everyone together.  

During those ten days, I wrestled with doubt.

Am I making too big a deal of this?

Am I going to embarrass myself when everyone gets in the room and I’m the only one with a problem?

On the morning of the meeting, I was reading in Mark chapter 5. Jesus is with Jairus on the way to heal his daughter. As they got close, people came from his house and said, 

Mark 5:35, “Your daughter has died; why bother the Teacher further?”

Those words stopped me. “Why bother the Teacher further?”

I realized that those words spoken 2,000 years ago were words I had been saying to myself for years: 

“Why bother others with your problems?”

“Why are you making such a big deal?”

And the most recent one, “Why bother your sister and ask for help when it’s your problem that you forgot to bring soup to the luncheon?” (sigh!)

I have a lifetime of moments where I struggled with asking for help, believing that I was bothering others with my need.

Jesus’ response shifted my heart.

Mark 5:36, “But Jesus, overhearing what was being spoken, said to the synagogue official, “Do not be afraid, only believe.” 

Jesus was not bothered by Jairus.

was not inconvenienced.

He was not frustrated by his request for help.

Instead, He invited Jairus to believe.

The story in Mark chapter 5 unfolds…

People laughed at Jesus when he said the child was not dead, only sleeping. Yet Jesus, confident in His authority and purpose, took the girl’s hand and spoke, “Little girl, I say to you, get up!”  And she did.

That morning, I felt like that little girl.

I went to the meeting. It got really messy before it got better. Honest words were spoken. I was amazed by both the candor and vulnerability in which people spoke their frustrations about the situation. Apologies were given and received. Healing began.

In the days that followed, God continued speaking to my heart:

• Do not live as though you are a bother. 

• Ask for help. 

• Speak truth in love.

• Say what God has given you to say—with kindness, without fear.

• No longer choose compliance with silence.

Like the little girl in the story, I felt Jesus take my hand and invite me to rise up. I am leaving the belief that I am a bother. Instead, I am walking as a dearly loved daughter of God, powerful and kind.

If this resonates with you, you are not alone.

Join this community of women in real conversations. Check out our upcoming Zoom calls and join our Be InterConnected Podcast community as we explore freedom in environments of oppression through the Exodus series.

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